Sorry I Almost Killed You
There I was cycling along in my bike, minding my own business, when BANG, a minivan driver pulled out of a side road without even looking my way and knocked me flat on my back. First he tried to kill me, then he wanted to shake my hand. Talk about psycho. Yes – this guy knocked me off my bike in his minivan. And the “best” part? I was cycling at 32 miles an hour at the time.
You Broke My Arm. See if I Care.
Ouch. So needless to say I’m going to squeeze every last cent out of this guy for the pain, anguish, injuries, equipment damage and psychological trauma he caused me. Surely a few thousand dollars for nearly killing me is justified compensation? But I’m lucky, because even though he rendered one of my hands useless (temporarily) it didn’t really matter. I’ll explain why in a moment.
Crumpled Heap of Metal, Flesh and Sinew.
Now, why on earth this dude decided to pull out onto a main road without looking in both directions is anyone’s guess. But what is clear is the end result: me squashed into a crumpled heap of metal flesh and sinew. This is what happens when you hit something at 32 miles an hour and you’re riding a bicycle.
No Hands Means No Work
At first, I was fuming mad with this guy. But then I kind of felt sorry for him. Because not only is he unable to drive a minivan properly – he was also probably the kind of guy who relies on both his hands and manual labour to pay the bills.
Luckily, I was Almost Killed
I consider myself lucky (actually, I’ve worked very hard to make my luck). You, might be saying: “Hello! You were almost killed and you consider yourself lucky!” Well yes, actually. You see, what I consider being unlucky is almost not being killed, if you catch my drift.
Cruise Control Commissions
Apart from surviving this road traffic collision, what makes me lucky is that I use a special method to make hundreds of dollars in commissions every single day totally hands free. So, even though I’ve lost the use of one of my hands for the short-term, I’m still banking very healthy commissions day in day out, pretty much on autopilot. (Unlike our friend Mr Minivan Maniac who was probably rushing to his next job and who needed his hands to compensate for the fact he rarely engaged the services of his brain).
All Systems Go
So, before you get hit by an incompetent driver and lose the use of any of your limbs (or worse), then set yourself up with a system which brings in affiliate commissions on a regular basis with minimum input from you or any of your body parts.